Furinkan Tsubasa!
by Ron Dow75
Summary: Tsubasa challenges Ranma for a date. But Ranma isn't the real prize. Probably complete.


Furinkan Tsubasa!  
  
By Ron Dow75  
  
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The child homeroom teacher Hinako-san said in her most   
  
grownup voice, "Students, let's give a big Furinkan High   
  
welcome to Class 1-F's newest student, Tsubasa Kurenai!"  
  
Ukyou cried in panic, "Tsu, Tsubasa!?!"  
  
Ranma groaned, "Not that pervert."  
  
Even Akane had a nervous sweatdrop, "Don't I have enough   
  
trouble with one guy who looks like a girl?"  
  
Hearing those remarks, some in the class had to ask, "Who's   
  
Tsubasa Kurinai?"  
  
Others asked, "WHERE'S Tsubasa Kurinai?"  
  
Hiroshi asked, "You don't think it's those newspaper boxes,   
  
do you?" On the teacher's platform was newspaper vender   
  
with four boxes and newspapers in the windows.   
  
Daisuke said, "The one with the necklace draped around the   
  
two upper handles?"  
  
Hinako-san said to the only thing that seemed out of place   
  
in a classroom, "Come out, Kurinai-san. Don't be shy!   
  
Remember, if you have any problems, I'm also this class's   
  
counselor!"  
  
Ranma had something else to comment on, "One nobody ever   
  
goes to."  
  
A pretty girl long light brown ponytail hair broke out of   
  
the top of the machine. (Somehow, she was now wearing the   
  
beaded necklace.) She smiled charmingly, "Hello, everybody!   
  
I hope I will have even MORE friends at this school!"  
  
Ranma commented, "Don't count on it."  
  
Hinako-san said, "Kurinai-san, you will sit in the seat   
  
behind Kuonji-san. Kuonji-san, could you raise your hand?"  
  
That got a reaction from Ukyou. But not one that made the   
  
girl in the boys' uniform want to raise her hand.  
  
"That's okay, Ninomiya-san! Ukyou and I are old, OLD friends!"   
  
The newspaper boxes gone now, Tsubasa in could be seen in a   
  
long-sleeved, green-and-white sailor suit.   
  
Now, Ukyou raised her hand, "Hinako-san! Do we HAVE to be   
  
seated alphabetically?! After all, we're not in elementary   
  
school!"  
  
Ranma commented, "Even though you wouldn't know it, looking   
  
at the kid Hinako-san."  
  
Akane raised her hand, "Hinako-san, there's an empty seat   
  
next to Ranma."  
  
Ranma cried, "What!!?"  
  
The teacher smiled, "That's right! That way, nobody else   
  
has to change seats!"  
  
It was Tsubasa's turn to raise his hand, "Hinako-san? Is   
  
this the way Ranma NORMALLY looks in class?"  
  
Hinako-san misunderstood, "If I make Saotome-san wear a   
  
school uniform, I'm going to have to make you wear one to,   
  
Kurinai-san."  
  
"Which one?" It was Ukyou's turn to make the comment.   
  
///  
  
Ranma was grateful the crossdresser paid no attention to   
  
him. (And he kept looking over at him to make sure.)   
  
Instead, the girl boy checked out the girls, but he always   
  
returned to Ukyou. This made the boy girl with the white   
  
ribbon extremely tense. (It didn't help that she kept   
  
looking over him.)  
  
When the first free period came, the boys started gathering   
  
around the new "girl". This only mad Tsubasa mad, "I'm not   
  
interested in boys!" And she raised her threatening fist to   
  
emphasize, "I HATES boys!"   
  
The girls gathered among themselves to talk about the new   
  
"girl". "Does Tsubasa really hate boys?"  
  
Akane, with a crosshatch on her forehead, said, "Oh,   
  
Tsubasa hates boys, alright."   
  
("Eww!")  
  
Yuka asked, "Then why does she seem interested in you most   
  
of all, Kuonji?"  
  
Ukyou told her, "Because I'm a girl!"   
  
Sayuri said, "But you don't look or act much like a girl."  
  
Ukyou got steamed, "Are you saying something I don't want   
  
to hear!?"  
  
More than Sayuri raised their hands in denial, "No, of   
  
course not!"   
  
Akane actually relaxed, "You know, they may have something   
  
there, Ukyou. Tsubasa DOES seem most interested in girls   
  
that don't look or act like girls."  
  
Ukyou struck her open palm, "Oh, yeah!" She got her smile   
  
back, "Then all I have to do is dress like a girl!"  
  
Akane shook her head, "Poor Ranma." But then she got her   
  
frown back, "Hmh! It ought to teach him a lesson. Be a   
  
pervert, and attract perverts."  
  
///  
  
Ukyou came back wearing a Furinkan High blue jumper and   
  
white blouse uniform. She also came back to the second   
  
period class late. The teacher asked, "Miss, who are you?"  
  
"I'm Ukyou Kuonji."   
  
Nemoto-san said stiffly, "Kuonji-san is registered as a   
  
male."   
  
"I'm registered as a male. But I AM a female. Everybody   
  
knows that!"   
  
"You are registered as a male. As such, you must dress   
  
appropriately."  
  
"WHAT!?? What about Tsubasa!?!"  
  
Nemoto-san misunderstood as he looked out at the class, "If   
  
you mean the new student, er..." he looked at his notes for   
  
the day, "...Kurinai-san, came into this school wearing   
  
civilian clothes, and therefore can remain out of uniform."  
  
Ukyou all but called her teacher a jackass, "Is that   
  
supposed to make sense!?"  
  
The teacher shrugged his shoulders, helpless, "I was told   
  
that IS Furinkan policy. Saotome-san, too, must not wear a   
  
uniform. Once somebody does, they forfeit their right to   
  
wear anything but the official uniform." Ukyou was furious:   
  
That jackass Headmaster! He has a problem with hair cuts,   
  
but not with the way some of his students dress!   
  
Nemoto-san asked, "Now, Kuonji-san, do you forfeit your   
  
right to wear the male student uniform?"   
  
Fuming for a moment, Ukyou turned and headed for the door.   
  
She paused before leaving to ask, "Nemoto-san? What is   
  
Tsubasa registered as?"  
  
"Let's see... Oh! Er, well, it says here that Kurinai-san   
  
is a...male(?)"  
  
Tsubasa told anybody who was staring at him, "That's right!   
  
I'm one hundred percent guy!"  
  
///  
  
Later, in the girls' locker room, Akane was getting ready   
  
for gym class, "Tsubasa let's everybody KNOW who asks he's   
  
a guy?? That's weird."  
  
Sayuri noted, "I'll say. Even weirder than somebody   
  
registered as a guy changing with the girls," as she   
  
glanced over at Ukyou.   
  
Ukyou was getting out of her boys' uniform, "It makes as   
  
much sense as Tsubasa's capable of making. Remember, I told   
  
you he went to an all-boys school. Looking like he does   
  
not: Like a girl!"   
  
Yuka said, "Wow! Talk about a committed crossdresser."   
  
Former girl gang member Na said, "Before anybody says the   
  
guy OUGHT to be committed, think about it. To be the only   
  
one wearing a dress, surrounded by guys!? The guy's gotta   
  
have SOMETHING to be able to survive. Even Ukyou was   
  
dressed like a guy."   
  
All eyes turned to Ukyou. She looked up from unwrapping the   
  
bandage around her breasts that helped her look more like a   
  
boy. Her frown got deeper as she thought about it for the   
  
first time. "Tsubasa survived by hiding. He HAD to learn to   
  
hide. I see that now. That's HOW he became an unbelievable   
  
master of disguise. (Really unbelievable.)"  
  
Yuka was puzzled, "Tsubasa insists on wearing girl's   
  
clothes, but to wear girl's clothes the boy has to wear   
  
something different than girl's clothes??"  
  
Akane had some unpleasant memories, "Oh(Hehe), Tsubasa   
  
manages to always wear girls' clothes."   
  
Ukyou snorted, "All of Tsubasa's disguises have nothing to   
  
do with clothes. He disguises himself as things! Mailboxes,   
  
vending machines, signs, trees--"  
  
"TREES!??!"  
  
"How can he make himself look like a tree?!!"  
  
Ukyou realized for the first time, "I don't know. His   
  
folks, maybe, work in a movie studio wardrobe department?"  
  
Akane was troubled by the same thought, "He's rich enough   
  
to afford his own sets and prop crew?"   
  
More than one girl cried, "He's RICH!?!!"  
  
Ukyou knew Tsubasa the longest, "The jackass has to have   
  
SOME money to afford that wardrobe of his. I don't think he   
  
wears the same outfit twice."  
  
Akane said, "Unless his parents are designers."   
  
But those same girls weren't thinking of that as they   
  
smiled dreamily, "There are WORSE things than a guy being a   
  
crossdresser."   
  
"Money papers over a lot of faults. As long as it's paper   
  
money."  
  
"Maybe he can get US new clothes!"  
  
///  
  
The girls came out of their locker room in the standard   
  
one-piece, navy blue swimsuit of Japanese girls. There was   
  
no mistaking Ukyou for a guy now. That got Akane, Ranma's   
  
tomboy fiancée, showing off her own figure, to wonder, "How   
  
is Tsubasa going to be able to take swim class? There's no   
  
way he'll look like a girl, even IN girls' swimsuits." She   
  
HAD seen him in his underwear.  
  
Ukyou told her, "Please, Akane. Don't make me lose my   
  
lunch. I don't want to think about him in a...." Her mouth   
  
dropped open when she saw WHAT was coming out of the boys'   
  
locker room.   
  
Akane exclaimed, "Oh, my lord!" The other girls all had   
  
similar reactions.   
  
Wearing the standard one-piece, navy blue swimsuit was a   
  
female mannequin. It had a figure at least as good as the   
  
adult Hinako-san, but it had the face of Tsubasa!  
  
///   
  
Ranma hadn't changed in the boys' locker room. It wasn't   
  
until they got to the pool that Akane and Ukyou caught up   
  
with the redhead. She, TOO, was showing her gender in the   
  
stupid standard swimsuit. And she, too, had to wonder when   
  
she saw the Tsubasa mannequin, "How in the world??"   
  
Ukyou hurried over to her.   
  
The Tsubasa mannequin got to the pigtailed girl ahead of   
  
her, "Ranma, darling!" The plastic woman didn't move very   
  
stiffly at all.   
  
Girl-Ranma cried, "Aaaa!" doing the pose.   
  
(Ukyou's first reaction was to swing her spatula. But since   
  
she wasn't carrying a spatula, she spun around for a few   
  
times.)  
  
Ranma-chan yelled at the dummy, "Tsubasa!! What'd you think   
  
you're doin'!?!"   
  
The lips, at least, didn't move, "We ALL need a swimming   
  
buddy! Dibs on you!"   
  
Ranma-chan slipped his arm out from the thing's arms before   
  
they snagged her. She confronted it, "And why ME!?!"   
  
It didn't blink as it said, "We're both guys who like to   
  
look like girls."   
  
"I don't LIKE lookin' like a girl!!" And she swung for the   
  
frozen face.   
  
The fist stopped just short of it.   
  
Ranma-chan struggled like a mime against the wind. Even   
  
holding onto her wrist with her other hand and pushing   
  
didn't bring the fist any closer to the still-life face.   
  
Ranma-chan finally couldn't hold her balance any longer,   
  
and fell against the doll's plastic boobs.   
  
Akane screamed, "RANMA!!"   
  
Ranma hurriedly backed away, and stumbled all the way into   
  
the pool: Splash!   
  
Akane had no problem connecting with the other dummy's   
  
face: Smash!   
  
Akane's anger vanished, as she got an ashen look at the   
  
headless imitation female. It seemed like something out a   
  
horror movie. And she hated horror movies.  
  
Tsubasa's own head popped out of the long, swanlike neck.   
  
He smiled, "Akane-dear!"   
  
Ukyou yelled, "Tsubasa!! HOW can you do that!?! This isn't   
  
a DISGUISE!"   
  
Tsubasa's attention was diverted to his "Dear, dear Ukyou!"   
  
Ukyou also had no problem hitting the fake female.   
  
Splash!   
  
The mannequin floated.  
  
Ranma-chan swam up to it, and sat cross legged on the dummy   
  
as if it were a raft, "All right, you picked up a   
  
technique: Out with it!"   
  
Tsubasa smiled sweetly up at her, "If you go out on a date   
  
with me, I'll tell you how I learned to assimilate with   
  
inanimate objects."   
  
"How about if I just turn you around to where you float   
  
face down?"   
  
"Oh, DEAR Ranma! How can you learn how I look like   
  
something else, then?"   
  
"I AIN'T goin' on a date with you!"   
  
"We went on a date, before. In fact, you're the one who   
  
asked ME out, dear Ranma!"   
  
Ranma-chan imagined everybody in the pool area hearing   
  
that. "I only asked because I thought you were a GIRL!!"   
  
"But as long as ONE of us is a girl, it's okay, right?"   
  
That did it: How could he fight with the pervert's sick   
  
logic? Ranma-chan fell off. But she then took the plastic   
  
woman by one of the ankles and swam with it for the bottom   
  
of the pool. Once she had held Tsubasa down to give him a   
  
scare, she let go.   
  
The buoyant doll shot to the surface and completely out of   
  
the water.   
  
And it didn't come back down until after Ranma-chan had   
  
stuck her head back up out of the water: Klong-kk!  
  
///  
  
Ranma-chan woke up with the mannequin on her back, pushing   
  
the water out her lungs.   
  
Ukyou was squatting beside her, "Ranma, Honey, are you   
  
okay?!"  
  
As soon as Akane saw the redhead was awake, she was   
  
scolding her, "HmH! That's what you get for going against   
  
your Code and fighting anybody who LOOKS like a girl."   
  
With the last of the water out of her mouth, Ranma-chan   
  
groaned. She knew it would be a while before she could   
  
overcome her life-time of martial arts conditioning and do   
  
anything violent against that pretend girl again. Getting   
  
whomped so soon after doing it had reinforced the   
  
conditioning.   
  
The doll asked, "Remember our little contest to see who   
  
could sell the most okonomiyaki for Dear, Dear Ukyou?" His   
  
tone became a little scornful, "The only way you beat me   
  
was wear that tacky bunny costume. Hmh! Boys see a little   
  
cleavage and they lose what little sense they have. That's   
  
why I hate them. They can't appreciate--"  
  
Ranma-chan got up, sending Tsubasa on his plastic butt.   
  
"Was there a point to bringing up our contest!?!"   
  
The mannequin rose up, "I believe I heard somebody say,   
  
"accepting challenges is what the Saotome School is all   
  
about"."   
  
(Akane let Ranma know she remembered, "You idiot!!")  
  
Ranma-chan glared at the crossdresser with the model body,   
  
"Are you CHALLENGING me!?!"   
  
(Ukyou cried, "Don't do it, Ranma-honey!")  
  
Tsubasa issued the terms, "If you are properly dressed for   
  
a date tonight, then you have to take me out on a FULL   
  
date." And he got a dreamy look, "Oh, yes, a date: A   
  
dinner, a show, a stroll in the--"  
  
The pigtailed girl said, "Alright! And when I DON'T, we   
  
don't date--Ever! You leave me alone!" With that Ranma   
  
stormed away.   
  
Akane and Ukyou went with her. Ukyou said, "Don't be a   
  
jackass, Ranma! You KNOW he wouldn't make a challenge like   
  
that unless he has something up his frilly sleeves!"   
  
Ranma-chan told them, "Anybody with half a brain has a plan   
  
when they make a challenge. It doesn't mean it's a GOOD   
  
plan!"   
  
Akane also saw the trap, but had her own way of arguing a   
  
point when it came to her so-called fiancée, "I bet Ranma   
  
accepted the challenge because the pervert's jealous of the   
  
Tsubasa's wardrobe! It'll give him another excuse to be   
  
seen in a girls' clothes."   
  
Ranma-chan screamed, "Take that back!!"   
  
Akane pushed: Splash! Then stormed away.   
  
Adult Hinako in her bikini ordered, "Saotome! Kurinai! It's   
  
obvious you two are the troublemakers here: Leave and get   
  
your clothes on! They'll be no pool time for you two   
  
today!"   
  
///   
  
Gym class was the last one of the day. The girls had just   
  
reached their locker room when the door flew open: Out   
  
raced a little man with a kerchief over his head and tied   
  
under his nose and a large, cloth sack, "What a haul! What   
  
a haul! Not a pair of panties or brassieres left!"   
  
Happosai bounded over the heads and between the girls   
  
before they could get over their surprise and stomp him. As   
  
he made it past the girls and were headed through the   
  
gauntlet of boys gathered to go into their locker room, he   
  
cackled, "Better watch your skirts, girls! It's windy out   
  
today! Ha, ha, ha!"   
  
Already dressed and waiting, Ranma-kun heard and had an   
  
instant plan. He pushed the real Tsubasa forward, now back   
  
to wearing his fuku, "Hey, Freak! Here's somebody's   
  
underwear you haven't stolen, yet!"   
  
Happosai cried, "You HAVE to be kidding! My expert's eye   
  
tells me this guy doesn't wear ANY lingerie!" He landed on   
  
Ranma's shoulder. "YOU, on the other hand," and he reached   
  
between the fasteners into Ranma-kun's Chinese shirt.   
  
Ranma screamed as Happosai stole the weapon he kept tucked   
  
away in reserve to distract the Freak, "I DON'T wear girls'   
  
underwear!!" He grabbed the creep and slammed him down over   
  
to were the girls could--And DID--stomp all over him.   
  
While the girls took the bag with their belongings into   
  
their locker room and away from the eyes of the   
  
disappointed boys, Ranma turned on Tsubasa, "That technique   
  
of merging with things is WAY out of your league: You   
  
learned your Object Lesson from Happosai, didn't you.   
  
You're in this with the OTHER freak, aren't you!"   
  
Tsubasa squared her shoulders and said indignantly, "I   
  
don't tell lies! I DID say I would tell you!"   
  
"For a date!!"   
  
Battered, Happosai had recovered, "I only perfected his   
  
technique. It was his OWN inclination and proficiency at   
  
camouflage that allowed me to enhance his abilities."   
  
Ranma yelled, "Why didn't you ever tell me about the   
  
technique!!?!"   
  
Just as loud and angry, Happosai yelled back, "Because it's   
  
not in your nature to hide under or AS a rock!" Having made   
  
his point, he looked away from Ranma and crossed his arms,   
  
"Besides, why would I want to do anything that doesn't let   
  
me see the cute body of your female side."   
  
Ranma punted him for the window, "This whole challenge idea   
  
was YOUR idea!!" Crash!  
  
Tsubasa, true to his word, didn't hide the truth, "In   
  
return for completing his treatment, I have to make you a   
  
crossdresser, too."  
  
Ranma headed for the guys' rest room, "Well, you've got a   
  
real challenge on your hands, then: I'm becomin' a girl,   
  
and stayin' away from you!"   
  
A minute later, standing in front of the long sink before   
  
splashing his face Ranma looked into the lav mirror---and   
  
saw his future: He looked just LIKE Tsubasa!! "AAAA!!" Wait   
  
a minute.  
  
It WAS Tsubasa. "What are you doin' in there!!?!"   
  
The girl boy smiled back, "When you can enter objects,   
  
walls and doors count as objects. Nothing can stop me. Are   
  
you ready to give up and put on a dress?"   
  
Crosshatches on his head, Ranma said, " "Objects", HUNH?   
  
They don't count as girls, or even people, do they?" And he   
  
smashed his fist into the mirror!   
  
After that Tsubasa could be heard but not seen, "Are you   
  
going to break everything around you? That'll become   
  
expensive, you know."   
  
Ranma made a several large divots in the places in the   
  
concrete wall where he thought the voice was hiding in,   
  
"I'm USED to those expenses! Why do you think we're poor!"   
  
"MR. Saotome!!" It was the very adult Hinako-san in her   
  
classroom clothes again. "It is not right to destroy school   
  
property. Only delinquents do that!"   
  
Ranma ground his teeth in frustration.   
  
Out of the nearest stall came Tsubasa. "It is my fault,   
  
Hinako-san. If Ranma is to have detention, I should also   
  
have detention."   
  
Ranma-kun charged the less solid form, "What'd you got   
  
planned!?!"   
  
He felt the familiar blast of one of Hinako-san's Happo   
  
Satsu attacks just before he slammed full force into the   
  
steel stall wall.   
  
///  
  
Ranma-chan came to leaning against somebody's back while   
  
they lifted her by her thighs. The kid teacher Hinako-san   
  
was saying, "...Yes, you were right, Kurinai-san; it was   
  
easier to give Saotome-san a piggyback ride as a girl."   
  
The girl-Ranma opened her eyes in time to see them going   
  
through the door of Classroom 1-F. She groaned, "Detention.   
  
And with some of my least favorite people."   
  
Behind him, Akane cried, "Ukyou! WHAT did you say!?!"   
  
Ukyou told her to, "Calm down, Akane! We're here to help   
  
Ranma, Honey."   
  
Akane crossed her arms and snorted, "Hmhh! It wasn't MY   
  
idea! You're the one who dragged me into the boys' rest   
  
room in front of the teacher and threatened to copy   
  
graffiti from the girls' rest room over the guys'."   
  
Tsubasa set Ranma-chan down on her feet. Checking herself   
  
out, Ranma saw that despite having the body of a girl, she   
  
wasn't wearing any clothes of a girl. She even opened the   
  
top buttons and peek under her shirt to make sure a bra   
  
hadn't been put on her. (Nope, none there.) The teacher   
  
said, "Saotome-san! That is not permitted, even AFTER   
  
classes!"   
  
Ukyou said, "Yes, Ranma-honey, that ISN'T a cool move."  
  
Akane called Ranma a "Pervert."   
  
Grumbling, Ranma-chan went to a front desk and sat down to   
  
sulk while keeping a lookout for any funny business from   
  
Tsubasa. (And Hinako-san. He was sure she didn't know   
  
nothing about Happosai's plan, but that didn't mean she   
  
couldn't be used to HELP the plan.)   
  
While everybody was being seated, Little Hinako-san noticed   
  
the packages piled up on and near her desk, "Do any you   
  
know anything about all the boxes?"   
  
Ranma-chan commented, "Let me guess. They're from dress   
  
shops."   
  
Tsubasa hurried to open a couple, "They're donations I'm   
  
giving to the Furinkan Drama club! I SO hope to be in one   
  
of their plays!"   
  
Ranma-chan said, "Just as long as it's not "Romeo and   
  
Juliet". Akane got mad enough when *I* was Juliet. Having   
  
You have her role would really make her snap her corset."   
  
Akane said, "What are you saying!?!! I'm not as cute as a   
  
GUY!!?!"  
  
"Draw your own conclusion." Ranma was out of Akane's reach.   
  
Hinako-san seemed hardly aware they were there, "Oh, how   
  
Pretty!" It was a princess gown like something out of a   
  
classic Disney cartoon.   
  
Tsubasa said, "Why don't you try it on, Hinako-san? It's   
  
large enough to go over your clothes!"   
  
Hinako-san squealed with little-girl delight, "Dress up!   
  
It's been ages since I had anybody to play with!" She had   
  
resigned herself to having to play mostly alone. Despite   
  
all of her toys, parents tended to get the idea that her   
  
VERY grown-up version was interested in them growing up too   
  
quickly. The mothers were the most suspicious. And the   
  
reactions her adult self got from the fathers didn't help,   
  
either.   
  
Tsubasa told the others, "I have MORE than enough for   
  
everybody!"  
  
Ranma-chan told them, "Count me out. I ain't joinin' in no   
  
girl games." Teenage Akane and Ukyou also declined to   
  
participate.   
  
From inside the dress, Hinako-san looked out from the wide,   
  
square neckline, chided, "Ranma Saotome! As the leader of   
  
Tendou-san and Kuonji-san's clique, you have to set a   
  
better example for them. You have respect your elders, and   
  
DO what your teachers tell you to do! As your school   
  
counselor, I think it would be a good idea for all of you   
  
to try out for drama! And as Drama Club Advisor, I ACCEPT   
  
your application!"   
  
So that was the plan. Ranma looked at her steadily, "You   
  
can get all the authority you can on your side, I ain't   
  
doin' it."   
  
The little girl's tone changed, "Please, Saotome-san!   
  
Pretty please! Please! Please!" Uh, oh! She was getting   
  
hyper. "It'll be fun! We can make it a party!" Any more   
  
movement and she'd come out of her dress. "If you don't   
  
want to be a princess, you can be Rosalind in "As You Like   
  
It"! SHE dressed like a boy? Kurinai, you do have tights?"   
  
Tights!? Ranma looked at the English Teacher, "Ain't things   
  
weird enough without me pretending to be a girl pretending   
  
to be a boy?"   
  
Hinako-san added, "Who pretends to be a GIRL!"  
  
Ukyou said, "*I'll* say that's more than weird enough."   
  
Akane just fumed at the idea.   
  
Suddenly a gown and petticoats like from "Beauty and the   
  
Beast" was thrown over Ranma-chan's head. Under the   
  
hoopskirt Ranma was out of the desk-seat, throwing fists   
  
and feet at it, trying to get it off of her.   
  
Unfortunately, it was like trying to punch her way out of a   
  
paper bag! Every time she hit, it yielded. Because of   
  
Ranma-chan's anger and frustration, it was half-a-minute   
  
before she realized all she had to do was grab it.   
  
It grabbed back: And hung onto her hands. "Tsubasa, you   
  
trans-SOMETHING! You became the dress!!"   
  
Ukyou cried, "That's Tsubasa in there!?!!"   
  
Akane cried, "Talk about identifying with girls' clothes!"  
  
Hinako-san said, "Talk about method acting."  
  
Tsubasa's voice answered, "Now you see why I HAVE to have   
  
Master Happosai finish his treatment!!"   
  
"You're WAY beyond a pervert!!" Ranma-chan declared. But   
  
before she could do anything about it, Ukyou and Akane   
  
attacked the dress. With Ranma under it. "We'll help you,   
  
Ranma-honey!" The two girls naturally preferred to hit.   
  
Especially Akane, "Ranma, you idiot! Stay still! You're   
  
getting in the way!!"  
  
Hinako-san was horrified, "You're ruining the princess   
  
gown!"  
  
Ranma-chan had had enough and ripped out of the satin   
  
gunnysack.   
  
The gown became loose, limp and lifeless. With growing   
  
fear, Ranma cried, "Tsubasa!!?! Are you alright?!! Where   
  
are you?!!"   
  
Suddenly Ranma-chan knew as her Chinese shirt became   
  
binding and messaging at the same time. "I'm sorry, my   
  
girl-like Ranma! But the temptation is TOO great. What did   
  
you THINK I wanted to do with a sweetheart I could share my   
  
affections with?"   
  
"You CREEP!!" Ranma-chan screamed. Grabbing the front of   
  
her shirt, she pulled.   
  
Ukyou warned, "Ranma, you DON'T want to rip your own shirt   
  
off!"   
  
Angry Akane said, "Why NOT? He's ALWAYS exposing himself!"   
  
As on cue, the fasteners of the Chinese shirt came loose.   
  
Ranma flung open her shirt like Superman. Except she didn't   
  
have any costume on under it. And she wasn't a man. That   
  
last was obvious because the undershirt was up around her   
  
armpits.   
  
Hinako-san cried, "Youthful hormones! I must weaken their   
  
power. --What did I do with my purse??"  
  
Ranma-chan stood there in an embarrassed sweat, unable to   
  
decide WHAT to do. She couldn't keep exposing herself like   
  
this. But if she didn't, the pervert shirt would grab her   
  
again!   
  
Tsubasa told her, "If you get in one of the costumes I   
  
brought, I will leave you alone. I promise!"   
  
Ranma would not hear of it, "And LOSE the challenge!!? I'd   
  
rather let you paw me all night until after the deadline!"   
  
As she wrapped the shirt around her with clear   
  
determination, the sash that held up her pants fell off.   
  
Ranma-chan's pants crumpled around her smooth legs. Tsubasa   
  
wouldn't go near her boxers, WOULD he!!?!   
  
Ukyou spoke up, "Tsubasa! Leave Ranma alone, and I, *I'll*   
  
go out on that date with you!"   
  
Tsubasa stepped out of Ranma-chan's clothes, "Really!?! Do   
  
you really, really mean it, my dear, dear Ukyou?!"   
  
Holding back her anger with a fist, she bowed her head and   
  
forced herself to say the awful vow, she said, "Yes.   
  
Tonight. In exchange for never asking Ranma for a date   
  
again!"   
  
Tsubasa headed back inside Ranma's shirt. Ukyou said,   
  
"Alright! Leave Ranma alone for one WEEK!"  
  
Only one thing would could make Tsubasa happier, "And   
  
you'll wear the outfit of my choice? I have it here in one   
  
of my boxes!"   
  
The jackass was really pressing his luck. But Ukyou said   
  
through clenched teeth, "Yes. I'll wear whatever you want   
  
me to." Then she looked at the crossdresser in his pretty   
  
face, "But you must swear to never, EVER be in any of my   
  
clothes!"   
  
"Oh, YES, dear, dearest Ukyou! I will never wear or enter   
  
into any of your clothing! This I most SOLEMNLY swear!"   
  
Ranma-chan cried, "Hey!! What am I, a handrag!!? Why won't   
  
he touch her, but it's okay for him to grope me!!?!!"   
  
Akane told the jerk, "Tsubasa's afraid he'll lose the   
  
special feelings he has for Ukyou. Don't you know ANYTHING   
  
about crushes."   
  
Ranma told her, "Of course I know about crushes! You're   
  
ALWAYS puttin' crushes on me, you super-jock tomboy!!"   
  
"WHAT did you say!!?!"   
  
Hinako-san interrupted everything, "Kurinai-san! Did I hear   
  
you refer to a "Master Happosai?"?"  
  
Tsubasa looked down at his pumps, "Er, yes, Ninomiya-san.   
  
The Master is giving me a special treatment."   
  
That was a sore subject with the little girl, "A treatment!   
  
You're letting that Happosai TREAT you!?!!   
  
"As your counselor I want to talk with you alone. AND as   
  
one more victim of that evil, little man's 'treatments', I   
  
want to STRONGLY advise you AGAINST having anything more to   
  
do with him..."  
  
///  
  
At home in the Tendou house, shortly before suppertime,   
  
Happosai received the news, "Betrayed! Betrayed!" He wept,   
  
"How could a student turn his back on his master like   
  
that?! And for what!? A woman!!"   
  
Akane glared at him, "You're one to talk."   
  
Nabiki said to the dirty, old man, "I'm surprised you   
  
didn't already know. Why weren't you using that peeping-  
  
tom, dimensional trick of yours?"   
  
The mercurial Happosai yelled, "I got distracted, okay!?   
  
The Fashion Design Club was making lingerie!"   
  
Nabiki said, "To replace the ones you took from them and   
  
the other girls, no doubt."  
  
The front door slid open, and Ukyou called out, "Ranma-  
  
honey! Everybody! We decided to stop here before our date."   
  
Everybody but Happosai and Ranma went to greet the couple.   
  
He was upstairs in his room as he'd been ever since he got   
  
home.   
  
Happosai denounced the traitor from the other side of the   
  
wall, "Your mission WASN'T to get yourself a date!! That's   
  
what I get for leaving the method up to you!!" He then   
  
disappeared into the night, unable to stand the thought of   
  
another's happiness being put over his own.  
  
When Kasumi saw what the daters were wearing, she said,   
  
"Oh, my!"   
  
Her father said, "Are you SURE that is appropriate for a   
  
date?"   
  
Nabiki said, "Akane wasn't kidding. Tsubasa really DOES   
  
prefer girls who dress like guys."   
  
Other than her long hair still being tied in a large white   
  
ribbon, Ukyou could very well be mistaken for a boy. From   
  
her black oxfords, black slacks, blue blazer and white   
  
shirt with a necktie with circles that looked like   
  
okonomiyaki. Unusual for a guy or a girl, she was also   
  
wearing her bandolier of spatulas and her giant one slung   
  
to her back. "Where's Ranma? I'm doing this for him, I'd   
  
like to have him to know."   
  
Akane said, "Oh, you know Ranma. He's in his room sulking.   
  
It was his fight, and doesn't like that YOU finished the   
  
it, not him. It's all about his stupid ego."   
  
Tsubasa said, "Dern! And I was SO hoping we could make it a   
  
double date." He was in an ankle-length pink-and-black   
  
dress that went all the way up to his neck.   
  
Akane shook her head, "Ranma doesn't date unless there's   
  
something in it for HIM. (And I don't mean the something   
  
boys are usually after on a date.)" She considered Ranma a   
  
pervert, but a selfish one.   
  
Tsubasa sighed, "Oh, well." And he slipped his arm around   
  
Ukyou's as if he were the girl, "Shall we go then, my dear,   
  
dear Ukyou?"   
  
The gesture was not lost on the girl. She immediately   
  
changed things to where she put HER arm around his, like   
  
she was being escorted by HIM.   
  
Then she realized, "What am I doing!?" Grabbing the front   
  
of the dress she dragged him with her, "C'mon, let's get   
  
this whole stupid thing over with, jackass!"   
  
As soon as the door was closed, Ranma-chan appeared at the   
  
top of the stairs. "Are they gone, yet?" she whispered.  
  
Frowning again, Akane said, "Yes, they've left! You stop   
  
hiding now, and--" She had to stare at the girl.   
  
The redhead coming down was dressed in a rental tuxedo.   
  
Kasumi smiled, "Don't you look nice, Ranma."   
  
Akane said, suspiciously, "Why are you dressed that way?"   
  
"You saw the way Ukyou was dress! *I* have to look better   
  
than her!"   
  
Akane cried, "You WANT a date with Tsubasa!!?"   
  
Her father also cried, "Say it isn't so, son!"   
  
Ranma-chan said, "It ain't so."   
  
Nabiki said, "You just can't stand not winning on your own,   
  
can you."   
  
Ranma-chan told her, "That's right! I'm gonna follow them.   
  
And when they get to wherever they're goin', I'm gonna MAKE   
  
Tsubasa wish he'd picked me! THEN I can get the   
  
satisfaction of turnin' him down!" And she started laughing   
  
at the idea.  
  
Akane yelled, "Idiot!! If you go on a date with Tsubasa,   
  
HE'S won!"   
  
Ranma-chan yelled, "It AIN'T a date!! I ain't goin' with   
  
the guy, I'm just runnin' into him!!"   
  
Akane yelled, "In a tuxedo!"  
  
"So he can see I'm definitely not, no-way crossdressin' for   
  
him!!"   
  
Nabiki commented, "The Saotome School of Martial Arts   
  
Logic."   
  
Ranma-chan said before sliding the front door closed on the   
  
conversation, "That's right! I'll do anything to win a   
  
challenge!" Slam!   
  
Nabiki said, "Ranma's already lost."   
  
Her father said, "What do you mean!?!"   
  
Ranma's father said, "Yes. What?!"   
  
Nabiki said, "Didn't you say Tsubasa's challenge was he   
  
could get Ranma properly dressed for a date?"   
  
Akane said, "So!? Ranma dresses like a guy...But NOT like   
  
this! Now he's PROPERLY dressed for a date!"   
  
Nabiki smirked, "It may have been Happosai who set the   
  
mission, but it was Tsubasa who set the terms. And as shown   
  
by Ukyou, Ranma meets that girl boy's definition of a   
  
crossdresser. Not a guy who dresses as a girl, but a girl who   
  
dresses as a guy."  
  
Akane wondered, "And Tsubasa's definition of a date?"   
  
Nabiki shrugged, but continued smiling. "I think Ranma's   
  
just bought himself MORE attention from Tsubasa."  
  
`  
  
`  
  
The End. 


End file.
